Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
