Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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