I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
