What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
