CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
