just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
