just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
