So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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