So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
