Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
