that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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