Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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