No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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