im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
