is your mom at the bar?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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