Tell her she can't have a vagina
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
