I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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