there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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