drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
