i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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