bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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