After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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