i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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