I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You made out with two different species that night
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
