the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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