she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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