dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
sex in a hospital.. check
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
