i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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