Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
