Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
