when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
