I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
