I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
