Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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