I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
