I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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