oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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