So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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