don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
