Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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