I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
