I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
