I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize