We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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