It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
