Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
