Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
