she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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