U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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