The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
