There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
