hotel room ftw
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
