Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
