Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize