I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
