Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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