Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Let's paint friendship bongs
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
