I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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