whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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