I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
