Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
