This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
