Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
