my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Im part way to drunk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
