I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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