I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
